


The Love, Life, and Lies of A Good Doctor

by LadyKimmey



Category: Criminal Minds, Supernatural
Genre: AU, Anal, Explicit Language, M/M, Multi, Sexual Content, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 17:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11902263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKimmey/pseuds/LadyKimmey
Summary: A collection of one-shots all featuring Spencer Reid with random pairings using various prompts. Each chapter will contain a one-shot, the pairing stated in the title. First chapter featuring Spencer x Sam Winchester. Summary : College was meant to be the best time of your life, but for Spencer, it was all about learning that life wasn't always fair. Being the best friend of someone as popular as Sam, had its perks and downfalls. After finally deciding that it was time to start dating, the resolve to get over his crush is compromised. Will the one time he has the opportunity to be with the one he loves be the moment he has been waiting for, or will it be the catalyst to destroy everything he holds dear?





	The Love, Life, and Lies of A Good Doctor

A/N: I will post this brief introduction on all chapters, so what I'm doing is understood. This will be my collection for random Spencer one-shots. I do realize that this site does have collections avaiable BUT I really don't want that many works showing up on my page. Part of my OCD, I can't stand something clustered together, and since I have several oneshots planned already, I don't want to overcrowd my page when I'm looking for something, it would irritate me. So please keep in mind that this fic is not really a multi-chaptered fic, but more of a collection of oneshots, but each will have Spencer in a boyxboy setting. 

So no one gets confused about what they are reading or what they wish to read. The chapter title will include The title of the oneshot and the male Spencer will be paired with. Example of how it will look in the Chapter Index : 2.Title of Story (Aaron Hotchner/Hotch).... So if you don't want to read a particular pairing you know to skip that chapter. 

 

A few things to look for, each will have the Title, pairing, rating (mostly Mature), warnings, word count, fandoms, the prompt I used, and whether or not I am keeping the story as close to canon as I can or if I'm going completely AU with it. There will also be a chapter summary posted with each so you know what the chapter/story will be about. Thank you and I hope that if you do read any, you will leave a comment on what you thought of it. 

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Title: Losing That Chance  
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Sam Winchester  
Rating: Mature  
Warnings: Language, Mild Violence, Angst, Yaoi, Anal, Sexual Content, OOC-ness!!!  
Word Count: Approx. 21,000 words  
Setting: AU (normal everday setting)  
Fandoms: Criminal Minds, Supernatural  
Prompt: Best Friends 

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Summary: College was meant to be the best time of your life, but for Spencer, it was all about learning that life wasn't always fair. Being the best friend of someone as popular as Sam, had its perks and downfalls. After finally deciding that it was time to start dating, the resolve to get over his crush is compromised. Will the one time he has the opportunity to be with the one he loves be the moment he has been waiting for, or will it be the catalyst to destroy everything he holds dear?

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Losing That Chance

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“Will you get the door?”

 

“Why not,” It wouldn’t be for him, but what could it hurt. Spencer knew who it was before he reached the locked entrance. The chatter on the other side could be heard over the desktop speakers, and he knew that irritating giggle. Oh, how he hated the sound of her voice. There was no point in trying to form a smile, the girl knew that he didn’t really care for her. As long as his best friend and roommate wasn’t in the vicinity, he wasn’t going to waste the extra effort it would take to fake an emotion he clearly didn’t feel. If he were honest, he would like to shove a hand in the flake’s face and tell her to get lost without a map. Not that she’d be able to read it if one was given. “Come in.”

 

“Will do,” Jessica waved bye to the other two girls before stepping inside the dorm room. Tonight was date night, so Sam was in the shower getting ready. It always left her alone with the sullen best friend. She didn’t understand why Spencer didn’t like her, she tried to get along with him. Sitting down on the mattress earned a sigh and the genius went back to his computer. 

 

Sitting on Sam’s bed because she felt like she belonged to be there. It irritated the hell out of him. Spencer went back to the online game, choosing to ignore the bubbly blonde. It was the norm, so she wouldn’t take offense to it. Since junior high, he had gotten used to females coming and going out of Sam’s life. Being nine and starting the eighth grade in a new school had made things difficult for himself. He was used to people giving him odd looks but he had found out quickly that some could be extremely cruel. By his second week in the new school, his mother had been ready to remove him due to the bullying. Then the best thing had happened to him, Sam had noticed that he was being carried by several boys to be thrown in the nearby dumpster. Sam and friends had come to his rescue, he had met his savior that day. Not only was Sam popular but many followed his example. 

 

From that day onwards, he had remained by the jock’s side. Sam treated him like a dear friend and he helped everyone with their school work. The trend remained all through high school, when he graduated at the age of fifteen and Sam had been nineteen. When it was time to choose a college, he had applied to several, making sure to also send in to the same ones as Sam. Sam had struggled to get into Stanford and the school had sent Spencer several invitations. He had accepted just to remain with his best friend for a while longer. It was their second year and at twenty-one, Sam had jumped right into the being legal to buy alcohol phase. 

 

They shared a dorm room together, this being their second year living in the same space, but they couldn’t be further apart. Ever since Sam had met Jessica last year and the two had started jumping into the sack. It wasn’t one of the casual flings that never remained long, his best friend had mentioned the M word twice already. That was why he disliked the peppy female. Sam was completely besotted with her and barely had time for him these days. 

 

It hurt, it did. Seeing the bright smile on the handsome face as Sam stepped out of the adjoined bathroom wearing only a towel. His presence was completely ignored, the two coming together in a crude embrace, boney legs wrapped around the cotton clad bottom. He could hear the exchange of spit, as they kissed. Not that he didn’t want the towel to fall to the floor, but not if it meant she would be getting what was on the opposite side of his view. They wouldn’t be brazen enough to fuck while he was still awake, they would wait until they thought he was sleeping to go that far. 

 

“Hey pal, you going to the party?” Sam pulled away from the clawed fingers to address his roommate. It was to be the party of the year and there were a few girls that wanted him to bring Spencer around. It was time for the genius to get himself a girl. He felt awful every time Jessica would spend the night with him and Spencer was forced to remain in the room and be alone. He would feel better knowing that his best friend had someone to spend time with. 

 

“No, I’m not.” He had no desire to go to the party. Parties weren’t his thing and he would always leave within an hour of arriving. He had more important things to do with his time, like sit in the room and sulk. He didn’t want to watch Sam make out with Jessica in a guilt-free atmosphere.

 

“You got to come, I promised Tracy that I would convince you to come.” Sam opened up the drawer to retrieve a pair of jeans. The freshly folded laundry had been washed and put away by Spencer. If left up to him, the room would be a mess. “Don’t make me drag you. It’ll be fun.”

 

For one of them. Spencer knew better but he felt his resolve wavering at the cocky smile. It was how Sam always got what he wanted, one smile and Spencer felt his heart react. It wasn’t fair, it was downright cruel. “Fine, but if I get bored I’m leaving without asking for permission.” 

 

“Deal, but I know you won’t get bored. I have several hot ladies that have been begging me to get you out.” Sam slid on the jeans, forgoing the boxers. He had plans on returning to the dorm room early. “Get dressed, we will miss out on the good booze if you take too long.”

 

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This was the reason he had been dragged along? Spencer resisted the urge to bitch slap the hyper-active cheerleader. He wasn’t at all interested in what she wanted. It took all of two minutes for him to realize that she was intelligent enough to realize that her perky breast and lush ass were only going to last so long after college. She was looking for a husband and one that wouldn’t end up with a five-digit income once the party was over. She thought to seduce him into becoming attached so he could support her later on in life. 

 

He didn’t want her attention, what he wanted was leaning against the wall with a clingy blonde trying to make out with him. Sam had a beer in his hand and if Spencer didn’t know better, he’d say that the raven looked pissed about something. It wasn’t his place to worry about it, he needed to find a reason to get away from his unwanted blind date. “I need to head to the restroom, please excuse me.”

 

He would throw a fit if she tried to follow him. Maybe even be crude and lie by telling her that he needed to have a bowel movement. She would probably giggle and call him cute. She raced over to the couple, giving him the chance to escape without much fuss. Instead of going to the restroom, he went through the kitchen and exited out onto the patio. There were idiots in the pool, when it had to be freezing. He decided to hide in the gazebo. Slipping inside, he found that the swing was already taken. “Sorry, I didn’t realize.”

 

“No problem, pretty boy.” Derek cocked his head seeing the pretty face enter the shelter. Just the person he wanted to see but didn’t think would show. It was damn near impossible to get this one alone, much less speak to him. Winchester was always attached to the hip and made it known that he didn’t care for anyone bothering him. “Come have a seat.”

 

“Okay,” Spencer took a seat next to the jock. Sam hadn’t continued to play sports after high school but kept up with the games. The caramel skinned basketball player was sexy and knew it. It was well known that the player was a player, and wasn’t ashamed of who he was. Derek Morgan was known for being severely desired by more than half the female populace and by ten percent of the male population. It was also known that Morgan was bi-sexual. 

 

“I wanna thank you again for your help the other day,” it had earned him an A. Keeping his grade average up was a must with his scholarship. Derek placed an arm on the back of the swing, directly behind the slender shoulders. 

 

“You’re welcome,” Spencer didn’t mind helping others in class. Morgan was a jock but he was nice and he did try to pass on his own before asking for help. What was up with the arm? The fingers were lightly touching his nape, if he didn’t know better it was a caress. 

 

“Why don’t you let me thank you properly? How about you let me take you out next weekend?” Derek wanted to take him out. He was tired of pretending to want to play the field. What he was interested in was the little beauty sitting beside him. It wasn’t a huge secret that he was bi-sexual, he wasn’t ashamed of it. He had explored in high school and liked having sex with males. What he wanted to do was introduce Spencer to the pleasures of being someone’s bottom. The question of sexuality was up in the air, but he planned to find out. 

 

“Out, like..like a date?” Or was he misreading into that smile? Spencer felt like an ass at the chuckle. Had he just put his foot in his mouth by assuming that one of the most desired jocks was asking him of all people out? Of course, he wasn’t asking him out on a date, Morgan was just being nice and trying to repay. “Of course, that isn’t what you meant, sorry.”

 

“That is exactly what I meant,” a date, just the two of them. He could ask without the moose hunkering nearby. It was hard to say anything when someone larger than himself was towering like a jealous boyfriend nearby. If Winchester wasn’t dating the snobbish blonde, he would mistake the overprotectiveness as being jealous. “You, me, and a movie. Dinner first, then we will go check out whatever you wish to see.”

 

“I…” Spencer didn’t know what to say. He was curious, because it was Morgan. The jock was hot and out of the closet. If he came out with anyone at his side, this would be the perfect opportunity to come out that he was into the same sex. It was something he hadn’t told Sam yet, he wasn’t sure how. Yet, he didn’t want to be used. He wouldn’t say yes if the only thing Morgan wanted was to get laid. “If you’re asking me out because you think I’ll be easy then I’m going to have to say no.”

 

“Calm down, pretty boy. I’m asking because I know you aren’t.” He wasn’t looking for a quick fuck, he could easily get that from several people. Derek smirked at the confused expression. “I’m not looking to get laid, I’m looking to get to know you better. So how about it?”

 

Them on a date, what should he say? Spencer didn’t want to accept, when he thought of dating, another male came to mind. He wanted to do those things with Sam. He wanted to date his best friend. When it came to finally losing his virginity, he wanted it to be with Sam. However, he wasn’t going to get what wanted. Why not accept the date? It might be fun and Morgan was a nice guy. “Alright, if you are sure.”

 

“I am,” Derek was more than sure about it. He liked the genius, and he wasn’t the kind to care what others thought of his choices. “Why don’t we get out of here? I’ll give you a ride back to the dorms. No hidden motives, scout’s honor.”

 

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“My money is on a sequel,” Derek placed a hand on the lower back to escort his date to the elevator. He chuckled at the horrified expression on his ex’s face when he was spotted with hands on someone else. They were finished with dinner and the movie, the time had flown by. It was easy to lose track of how much time was passing when there was someone like Spencer around. The witty banter had begun on the ride back. 

 

“Can’t, it would completely destroy the paradox the end had created.” Spencer stepped out into the hall. The date had been nice, a lot more pleasant than he had expected. Morgan….no, Derek was very sweet and attentive. The hand on his lower back was roaming upwards. They were at the door to his room, the space he shared with Sam. If the couple weren’t already inside, then they would be soon. He was kind of tired of being the one ending his nights alone. “Want to come in for a few minutes?”

 

“Nah, the offer is tempting but we will save it for another night.” Derek didn’t want to risk things advancing too far. It would give the impression that he was after sex, when he wanted more. “I would like permission to give you a kiss goodnight though. Do you mind?”

 

“Not at all,” Spencer pushed down the sense of betrayal, there was no one to betray. There was no reason for him to feel guilty. The large hand reached out to stroke his cheek, the action coming off as caring. It didn’t stir the excitement that he had been hoping for, but the lips that came forward to brush across his own were firm. It didn’t make his head swim or his blood to stir, but the initial touch of tongue ghosting across his bottom lip was nice. Having it dip inside wasn’t a complete waste of time, he was compelled to meet the pink muscle halfway. 

 

The kiss deepened, and Spencer felt his back hit the door, but didn’t care. He wrapped his arms around the broad shoulders to pull the hard chest close. There was strength in the embrace that held him. He could feel the arousal pressing into his stomach and his own began to stir. Derek knew how to kiss, there was no denying the expert way the mouth took control of his own. 

 

Derek clenched the thin material of the flimsy shirt. The inexperience came through the kiss and it was a turn-on. He was happy to take possession of the plump lips. His cock was aching with undeniable lust. The sound of the door opening didn’t put an end to the kiss, he didn’t think his date was aware of it. He went further by sliding a hand down to cup the round bottom. 

 

Why didn’t he mind that? Spencer sighed into the open mouth at having his ass grabbed. Was it due to getting lost in the moment? It was easy to forget how he truly felt and that he should have morals when he was being kissed like he was the most desirable thing to breathe. Someone as hot and fuckable as Derek Morgan was kissing him because he wanted to. It ended too soon and his mouth was abandoned. 

 

“Thanks for the evening, Sweetness. I’ll call you in the morning.” Derek gave another gentle peck on the pouting lips before pulling away. It was time to leave before he gave into the need to pull the genius back to his room. 

 

His voice stuck! Spencer was left alone in the hallway to absorb what had just happened. The date had ended very well. He turned to open the door to find it wide open and the entrance blocked. Now it was his chest that felt congested as he came face to face with his best friend. Agreeing to go on a date had been risking the fact getting back to Sam. It was past time to come out and the shock etched on the handsome face almost broke his heart. “Sam?”

 

What the hell was that? Sam couldn’t find the words to express what he was feeling. The shock, the horror and the hate! Derek Morgan?!!!! That was who Spence had run off to spend the evening with? The idea of it being another male didn’t bother him, he had always wondered since there had been no girlfriends. Having it confirmed by witnessing the two making out in the hallway was like being punched in the chest. What the hell was Spencer thinking? Everyone knew that the jock was a player. 

 

“Excuse me,” Spencer pushed by to get into the room. Sam would deal with the information his own way and he wasn’t going to apologize for being who he was. He didn’t like females that much and he had enjoyed the date. 

 

“What the hell was that?” What had he opened the door to? Besides them kissing? The ass had been so bold as to grab a handful of some knowing that he was standing there watching. When had Morgan gotten around to making his interest known? This was the reason he hadn’t wanted the male whore around his best friend. The subtle glances, the flirting, Spencer deserved better.

 

“You’re practically engaged and you need to ask me what that was?” Not, every weekend he had to listen to the couple do those things and more. Where was the fiancé anyways? Spencer took a seat on his bed. 

 

“I know what I saw, I want to know why I was seeing it.” Sam wanted to know why Spencer was letting the other male stick his tongue anywhere near him. Why had he just caught the two making out? 

 

“I believe what you saw is normally what happens at the end of a date.” At least he hadn’t gone all the way like some people. Sam and Jessica had fucked after the first date. If things had gone further, then it was no one’s business but his own. “It was a kiss.”

 

“That wasn’t a kiss, you were making out in the hall.” What would have happened if he hadn’t interrupted the two? Sam didn’t like it, he had almost slugged the cocky bastard as he walked away smiling. Who did he think he was hitting on his best friend? 

 

“And? Does it really bother you that much that I was making out with a guy? You’re the one telling me that I need to start dating, so I have. Would you be acting like this if it had been a girl with me?” Spencer prayed that Sam wouldn’t turn on him finding out that he was gay. It would crush him to lose his best friend. 

 

Maybe, possibly, a damn good chance. Sam hated that it was Derek Morgan, but what got to him was seeing Spencer being groped like a piece of ass. If Spencer were to date, it would have to be someone that saw how special he was and that wasn’t just looking for sex. The door was closed to keep their conversation private, “Look, I don’t care that it was a guy, I don’t. I just don’t like who it was. Of all the people you had to agree to go out with, you picked the worst one.” 

 

“He isn’t that bad, he was actually very sweet, and I had a great time.” It had been easy to carry a conversation and Derek had been nothing but nice to him the entire time. “And I don’t need your permission to date someone. I like him and I’m going to see him again.”

 

“I could see that,” one had to like someone to be mashing faces like that. Sam gagged on the upset, Spencer was giving him the shoulder. The slender form turned and plopped onto the mattress, facing away. The conversation was over, that was the signal for him to leave it alone. Fine, what was he getting worked up over? There wouldn’t be a second date. Spencer hadn’t put out so the jock would move on to someone else that would. There was no point in getting upset over one date. 

 

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The damn chime was canceled for the tenth time in under an hour. Sam ignored the call, and the text that followed. Getting annoyed, he turned the volume completely down on the cell before replacing it on the nightstand. What he wanted in his hand was the beer. By now he had taken to drinking them luke warm, unwilling to wait for the bottles to grow cold in the small refrigerator. The new six pack was next to the phone, only a single bottle missing. The last two packs were in the trash, they hadn’t helped. 

 

His gaze remained on the door, he waited. It was after midnight and he was the only one in the room. How much longer would the date last? Every weekend for the last two months. The two were a damn couple! Spencer didn’t have time for him any more. It was all about Derek, Derek, and Derek. The two had to be fucking by now. Why else was the athlete so happy? He had come into the room twice to find the two cuddled up on the bed sleeping together. They were doing things together when alone, and he knew what those things were. 

 

Spencer was allowing the other male to touch him. How many times had they fucked? He had told Spencer to find someone to date, not someone to fool around with. The door finally opened and his eyes found the reason for his anger. The darker male was all over his best friend. The hands pawing the round, little ass. The grinding was obvious and so was the eager swaying of Spencer’s hips. They were practically fucking in the doorway. 

 

He allowed his presence to be known by slamming the empty bottle onto the bedside table. It got the two to break apart, ending the disgusting display. Was that the jock’s erection? Not much for someone that strutted around campus like he had a golden cock. It could barely be seen beneath the tight jeans. That or making out with Spencer hadn’t had any effect at all. Were they done? There was an exchange of hushed words and his roommate stepped inside for the night. “Out a little late tonight.”

 

“Is it?” It wasn’t that late and he was old enough to stay out as late as he wanted. Spencer licked the back of his teeth, trying to remove the hint of booze that had come through the kiss. He had declined the offer of alcohol, but his date had enjoyed a few shots at the party. It had left him to drive back to the dorms, but he hadn’t minded at all. Tonight was the first night that his space hadn’t been completely invaded by his new boyfriend. The affection was nice, but at times it could be stifling. Having the jock in his face reminded him that he was dating the wrong person, which led to feeling like shit and guilty because a part of him wasn’t open to giving the guy the chance he deserved. 

 

“Whatever, I’m going to sleep, don’t turn on the main light.” Sam forwent grabbing another beer. Now that Spencer was back safe and ALONE, he would be able to relax. 

 

“I won’t,” he didn’t need it to get into bed. Spencer yanked off the shirt, then the shoes were the next to go. He would pick up the dirty clothing in the morning, he was exhausted and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed. The jeans were yanked down and kicked aside. Where was Jessica? He had fully expected the blonde to be in here. “Did you mess with the heater?”

 

“No, I didn’t. It went out again and maintenance won’t be here until Tuesday. We have to deal with it,” the room being frigid had been Jessica’s excuse for not remaining tonight, but he had seen through the fib. They hadn’t completely worked through their last fight. She was still pissed from yesterday morning and he wasn’t going to apologize, which would be the only thing to soothe her vanity. He wasn’t sorry, he was the furthest from sorry than someone could get. He had meant what he said and wasn’t going to take it back. She had accused him of being more concerned about Spencer than her. It was true, he was more concerned about his best friend than her at the moment. She was perfectly fine while Spencer was getting himself into a relationship that would only cause him hurt in the end. He did care more about his roommate than his girl, he hadn’t lied to her. 

 

“Did you at least manage to get a few extra blankets?” He had two but it was below freezing outside. Each dorm had their own unit, they had one that kept flaking out every winter. Seeing the high mound covering the damn moose, he sighed. Of course Sam had, and they were being used. The two flimsy things he had wouldn’t be enough to keep his teeth from chattering. Maybe he should down a few beers so he wouldn’t notice that his skin was turning to ice. 

 

“They only had one left so you’ll have to share if you’re cold.” Sam winced from the overhead light that was switched on. Really? Couldn’t he move around without turning on the light? The two flimsy blankets were yanked from the twin bed and brought over. 

 

“You get the wall,” Spencer didn’t want to be pinned against the wall. It made him feel trapped, but it would be a fight. The blankets were tossed to spread across the three already covering the larger male. It made him wish for his blanket from home, it was thick enough that nothing else would be needed. The crappy things supplied by the school could barely be used as a towel with how thin they were. 

 

“Like hell I do, it is my bed. You get the damn wall,” Sam wasn’t taking the inside. He could feel the difference as soon as the extra protection was placed down. It wasn’t the first or second time to have shared a bed. “If you’re coming hurry up before my balls dig into my stomach.”

 

“I am,” the light was turned off. This was being stupid. Spencer reminded himself that they had shared the same bed many times in the past. He grunted but crawled over the mass to take the side next to the wall. Climbing beneath the covers got him close to what he wanted. Bare legs, bare hips, and there was a reason Sam hadn’t pulled the covers past the waist as he had climbed underneath. “Are you seriously nude?”

 

“Like I knew you’d be joining me.” No one else had and he had rubbed one out before starting his second six pack. When his girlfriend had denied him any attention, he had taken care of himself. Which was fine, because he hadn’t really been that interested in having sex with her. “Got a problem?”

 

“Just keep it over there,” he didn’t want it near him, because he did. It wouldn’t come near for the reasons he wanted and it would make it harder to fall asleep. Spencer adjusted away from the naked form, giving Sam his back, and turning to face the wall. 

 

“That mean no cuddling?” Sam did the same, going to his side, facing the back of Spencer’s head. He was fine with the amount of warmth but he wasn’t the one shivering. “Come here.”

 

“NO,” he most certainly would not. Spencer swatted at the hand trying to grab his waist. They weren’t in high school anymore and he didn’t want to cuddle with Sam, he’d rather freeze. He didn’t want to feel that glorious body pressed against his own. 

 

“You gotta be shitting me, you’re shivering.” Doing so would keep them both warm throughout the night. The boney fingers went as far as to scratch at his hands when he didn’t give up. “What is your problem? Or would you be more willing if I were your boyfriend?”

 

“Yes!” Because then he wouldn’t feel so odd about it. It felt weird knowing that there was nothing separating them except his own clothes. “You aren’t wearing anything and I doubt you’ll be thrilled if I accidently brush up against your cock in the middle of the night.” 

 

That was his concern? That they might come in contact with each other? If Spencer wouldn’t come to him, he’d go to Spencer. The mattress bounced with the movement and he plopped back down, coming in direct contact with the bare back. Before a complaint was uttered, he snatched the slender hip and yanked hard into himself.

 

“Sam!” Spencer could smell the beer on his breath. How many empty bottles were in the trash? Had to be more than a case with the behavior. The groin was slammed against his bottom, bringing the flaccid member flush into the cotton boxers. What the hell was he trying to do? Prove that doing so wouldn’t bother either of them? Well it did bother him. He could make out the outline of the cock despite there being a sheer barrier between them. 

 

See, no problem. Just like any other time they had lain in the same bed. Kind of. Except Spencer wasn’t content to remain still. The hips jerked in his hold, causing friction. The round ass was rubbing along his cock with the movement. This was the accidental rubbing that Spencer had thought he wouldn’t be thrilled about. It did more than thrill him, “Babe.”

 

Why wouldn’t he let him go? Spencer tried to jerk away, to have his hips pulled back. The crack of his ass pressed right into something hard and round. Feeling the unexpected result of the slight brushing floored him. It was getting harder and longer. It could be felt past the top of his rear, but it was impossible to tell exactly how thick it was. All coherent thoughts abandoned him when the cock was purposely rubbed against him. He couldn’t help it, his curiosity had him rotating his hips to get a better feel of what was there. 

 

That felt good. Sam had noticed years ago that the genius had a nice ass for a male. Small, round and firm, but he couldn’t get a good feel for it with the flimsy boxers in the way. The seam of the boxers were just an inch below where his fingers sat, making it easy to find. The side of the underwear was pulled down, exposing only half. “Lift up.”

 

UP? Spencer knew he shouldn’t. Someone was completely inebriated and had no idea what he was doing. Sober Sam wouldn’t touch him but his weight was lifted to assist in the removal of the clothes. The boxers stopped just above the knee and he had to use his own feet to kick them down. A large palm cupped the ass cheek farthest from the mattress, kneading the flesh. Sam was fondling his ass while the tip of the cock dribbled on his lower back. 

 

Sam waited for the cue to stop. All it would take was one word and he would. It would give him a serious case of blueballs, but he didn’t want to pressure Spencer. It wasn’t the first time he had played with an ass with the hopes of sampling the inside. It was one of his kinks and Jessica only allowed it on special occasions. What would Spencer feel like? Would he be the only one to enjoy it? 

 

Was Sam coming to his senses? Spencer caught his breath when the groping ended. Was his best friend coming to realize that it was his ass being manhandled? There was some slight movement from behind, but he was too scared to turn around. He feared seeing a look of disgust at allowing himself to be touched. The hand came back to cup directly in the center, and something small but slick probed the slit. It pushed and found his closed entrance. Precum dripped from his own forgotten cock as the tip of the digit pressed in. “Ah!”

 

The moan assured him that what he was doing wasn’t hurtful. Sam wiggled it in, slightly opening up the tight hole. It was hot and clenched around his finger. Moving it slowly around soon allowed for a second to be added. Spit alone wasn’t enough to keep the two slick. There was a grunt of disappointment when he pulled both out for a moment. “Hang on.”

 

For? Spencer gasped into the pillow at the loss. Twice the middle finger had managed to brush across the spot. The sharp spike of pleasure had his balls tightening and his lower half on fire. Having read up on the concept of two males having anal sex hadn’t prepared him for the actual feeling of having his prostrate messed with. If a finger accidently hitting it felt that good, what would it be like to have a cock toying with the area? 

 

Something popped behind him. Spencer wanted to ask what Sam was doing but didn’t want to risk destroying the mood. There was absolutely nothing romantic or tender about the interaction. Sam was drunkenly exploring things because of having his cock get hard from normal friction. He knew that the couple had gone as far as to try anal sex, but he wasn’t Jessica. There wasn’t an alternate hole for Sam to slip inside if he became bored with one. He wasn’t a girl and the moment Sam recalled the fact that he was a guy and his best friend, this was going to come to a crashing halt. 

 

Yes, but it felt too good to voice the many reasons Sam should come to his senses. The fingers were back on him, rubbing his opening. The cold goo was being rubbed just inside and along the ring. Spencer clenched the edge of the mattress with a hand having another helping of lube applied just inside. When would Sam resume what he had been doing? There, something was placed between his cheeks and pressed into his closed muscle. It was too thick to be a finger and the burn confirmed it. 

 

“Don’t tense,” Sam got a hold of the top hip to keep him from pulling away. Doing so would make him come out. Getting the head inside was the worst part and it had just breached the constricting ring. He had made sure to put enough lubrication inside and along his own cock. 

 

Don’t tense up and try to bear down, to allow the cock to ease deeper. It did go deeper, stretching him to a breaking point. In that moment Spencer realized how his best friend had managed to get his nickname. An ex had given it to him in high school. When he had innocently asked, Sam had told him it was because he was tall and muscular. Barely a teen, he had accepted that as a truth. The cock was huge and he had to cry out when it went too far. He couldn’t take anymore without having his guts scrambled. 

 

“There?” Sam tried to gauge the stopping point, to know exactly how much he could give. Pulling out, he slowly thrust back in, ending just before making the trembling body jerk away. They were both still under the covers, and sweat had begun to form on them both. The raspy moans matched his own deep grunts. “Good?”

 

How could he be asked that? Spencer would have swore if his tongue wasn’t lodged to the top of his mouth. Each thrust struck him and he knew Sam wasn’t even trying to do it. His opening was stinging from being forced to accommodate something so large. The entire lower half of his body was burning with heat, he couldn’t control the shivering as he orgasmed. A hand caught his chin forcing him to turn and face the one responsible. He was asked again if it was good. When he didn’t respond the movement stop, something he didn’t want. “Yes, yes, don’t stop.”

 

Was it that good? Sam released the moan when the hand grabbed his hip and helped to bring them back together. There was no doubt about the pleasure he was feeling. It was hot inside, and incredibly tight. The slickened passage was clinging to him like a second skin. What turned him on more than anything was knowing that his partner was also enjoying it. It had to be painful, he could feel how each thrust was making him expand. So tight, and Spencer was letting him constantly fill him to that point. A few times he was sure he didn’t stop in time, but the grip kept pulling him forward and deep. 

 

It happened again, Spencer screamed, uncaring that he was doing so right in Sam’s face. The pleasure snapped from the heat and the continuous striking of his spot. The waves were dragged out with the increased friction. He could see the pink of Sam’s tongue as his first lover panted. It had turned into a rapid fucking and he arched his bottom to accept more of the girth. The tip went past his pain threshold and all he could focus on was the intense pressure against his prostate. 

 

“You’re so fucking tight,” Sam found the top leg and got it to bend upwards. It folded and rested near Spencer’s side. Doing so, he was able to place a foot on the mattress for support. It helped to brace some of his weight and he didn’t think it possible but the pressure around his cock got stronger. “Fuck, you’re amazing.”

 

The compliment made him sob. He could barely understand it through the slurring. The cock was pounding without care. Having daydreamed about being fucked into the mattress wasn’t anything like the reality of it. Spencer didn’t think he could get off again, but the tension was there. It was more painful than having the inside of his ass drilled. He would be raw by morning from it, but he could tell that he wasn’t the only one that was close to getting off. So close, it was coiling like a red-hot spring in his groin. “Don’t stop. Oh god, Sam! Your cock feels so good.”

 

Yes, he wanted him to cum. Sam lowered his head, his mouth running over the exposed throat. Spencer was begging for it, praising his cock. It did things to him. Hearing the soft voice admit to wanting him, the hoarse moans as he bit down and suckled on the tender skin. The beautiful male did nothing but cry out in pleasure at being impaled to the hilt. He went balls deep inside and the lush globes bucked into him. 

 

“Sam!” Spencer reached back to fist the hair. The teeth bore down, the cock slammed to the base, and the hot fluid began to gush out. He could feel the pulsing down the entire shaft, Sam was finishing while holding it all in, no thrusting just releasing the cum as far as it would go. The canines broke the skin, the warmth of his blood oozing down across his throat, to drip onto the arm holding up his head. 

 

How much more did he have to give? Sam shuddered as the last of it was spent. It was hard to catch his breath and the tip of was over-sensitive. He pulled out and snuggled close. That had been… he couldn’t describe it. “You okay?”

 

“Yes,” somewhat. His ass was burning, his groin was achy, and his neck was still dripping from being bitten. The question probably came from the hold he still had on the mass of hair. He did let go, caressing the slight stubble that had grown from two days of not shaving. Doing so expressed the emotions he normally kept in check, and he was rewarded by having his palm kissed. The thick lips were right there and he wanted nothing more than to kiss them. He had just experienced sex for the first time but still had no idea what it was like to kiss Sam. It wasn’t going to happen. Disappointment lingered long after the handsome face lowered onto the pillow. 

 

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“Fuck!” Sam winced, the light was killing his eyes. His head felt like it was splitting open and his back felt like he’d fallen off of a ladder. What the hell? He felt like reamed shit and this was Jessica’s fault. She had been the one to start a fight and demand that he start treating her better. They must have made up at some point, the thin arms were laced around his waist. He couldn’t recall the conversation or when she had returned. 

 

“What time is it?” Spencer cracked an eye at the movement, slowly waking up. The sudden disappearance of the weight had him falling face forward. What was the rush? Was it that late? “Sam?”

 

“What the fuck?” Sam choked on the bile and he couldn’t hide the dismay seeing the naked chest that the blanket no longer hid. It had fallen at his rush to get up and put distance between them. The narrow waist was bare of any underwear. His gut told him that Spencer was just as naked as he was. Shit, they hadn’t! They did, vague images suddenly came to mind. Blurry and unbelievable, they had fucked. “I can’t believe this.”

 

“Sam, please don’t freak out.” He couldn’t handle it if it happened. He had spent the remainder of the night trying to convince himself that Sam had instigated the sex because there was something there. Why would Sam sleep with him if he didn’t desire him just a little bit? “Just… we can talk about this.”

 

“Talk,” Talk? What had happened to talking last night? How had it started? That he couldn’t remember, but there was no way he had been the one to initiate anything. He wasn’t gay and he had Jessica. “You wanna explain why you climbed in my bed last night? Jesus, what the hell were you thinking?”

 

“Me? What was I thinking?” He wasn’t the one that had started it. Sam had been the one to grab him and start grinding. The horror was damning, and it stung to see it directed at himself. He had known Sam would be a little upset about cheating, but this went beyond being unfaithful. “It takes two and I believe your cock had to be hard in order to fuck me.”

 

“I was drunk and thought you were Jessica.” That had to be the reason for it. Spencer was his best friend, not someone he would want to hook up with. They were both guys, and he wasn’t into other men. “What was your damn excuse? You don’t drink, so why the hell did you let me fuck you?”

 

It was like a cold fist had reached beneath his ribcage and had begun tugging on his heart. Knowing that Sam had been drunk hadn’t stopped him from allowing it. Spencer couldn’t give a reason, all he could think about was not being able to recall one time that Sam had acknowledged that it was him once it had begun. Was it true? Sam had only touched him because he had thought him to be Jessica. Then it was all his fault, he was the one in the wrong. 

 

He should have said something, he should have stopped it. Sam was right, he had been sober, and in control of his actions. He should have made Sam stop before it went too far, yet he hadn’t. All because it was what he had wanted. Spencer tried to meet the gaze, to find Sam was busy slipping into a pair of jeans. What could he do to apologize? He had used his best friend and had done the unthinkable. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Sorry, sorry doesn’t work.” Sam couldn’t believe it. Spencer had climbed into his bed and had taken advantage of him. Why? Why sleep with him? He knew his best friend wasn’t fond of his girlfriend but to totally disregard her was too much. He had cheated on Jessica with his best friend, his roommate. “Do you have any idea what you have done? You made me cheat on Jess! How do you think she is going to feel when I tell her? I will tell you! She is going to be pissed. Even if I’m lucky enough to not be dumped and have her forgive me, she isn’t going to trust me.”

 

“I know and I won’t say anything if you won’t.” He wouldn’t boast about it. Spencer didn’t want to think about it. The sweater was pulled over the dark head and what he said seemed to piss Sam off more. He hadn’t done it to ruin their relationship. It had been his one chance to have Sam. “She doesn’t have to know.”

 

“Unlike you, I don’t fuck around. I won’t lie to someone I love.” This was so fucked up. This was going to ruin everything. How could she forgive him? “Don’t you get it? Even if she does forgive me and doesn’t dump me, she won’t forgive you. Hell, I can’t forgive you. Do you think she’ll want me in the same room with you? Sleeping in the same area as you night after night? She isn’t going to want me around you after this. DAMMIT! You just forced me to choose between you and my girlfriend.”

 

Had he? Spencer didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to. It was there in the blank stare, the cold gaze. He had just destroyed their friendship. His selfishness would turn Jessica against him, and Sam. Sam loved Jessica and wouldn’t make that sacrifice, not for him. “What are you saying?”

 

“I’m saying there is no going back, you ruined everything. Couldn’t you just be happy with being my friend?” Sam fought back the sting of tears, it shouldn’t hurt this much. This wasn’t his fault, but he would be the one forced to make the choice. “I can’t choose you, I’m sorry. No matter what happens between Jess and I, I can’t be friends with you. Not after what you did.”

 

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(Four years later)

 

What had he done to deserve this? Spencer held on, unable to keep himself from bolting. The grip was making the tips of his fingers numb, but if he relaxed his hold, he was going to dash past the kneeling man and run for it. It had finally come to this and he had prayed that it never would. What could he say? How was he to react? Besides make an ass out of himself? This couldn’t be happening to him, he didn’t deserve it, he never had. The wide smile made him feel things, mostly guilt. Years ago, he had walked away from the very same person. 

 

Every time he closed his eyes, he could recall it. Derek’s confusion and anger when he had informed him that it was over. Not even a day after Sam had snuck back into the room to remove some of his belongings. Unable to pretend that things hadn’t happened, he had been honest with his boyfriend. Derek had honestly asked about the events, and he had told him what he wanted to know. That he had climbed into bed with Sam due to the heat being out and that his roommate had been intoxicated. He had admitted to allowing it because he had always had feelings for someone else. Derek had said he understood and that he forgave him. Spencer had informed him that he couldn’t forgive himself yet, and that meant they couldn’t be together. 

 

A week after that fateful night, he had decided to transfer schools the next semester. He hadn’t waited for that one to end. Seeing Sam around campus, with Jessica, had been too much. They were still together, so she had forgiven him. Sam had definitely told her because the blond gave him that look every time she spotted him. Sam hadn’t returned to get the rest of his things from the dorm room. They both knew a transfer wouldn’t happen until the next semester. His presence was forcing Sam to sleep on the floor down the hall. He knew it because he had been going to class one morning and had walked by as the door opened. There had been Sam, beneath a blanket and passed out on the floor. 

 

He had easily gotten into Yale and it meant putting the entire map between them. Moving put him on an entirely differently coast and he hadn’t left soon enough. Without a word to Sam, he had packed up his things and gone home. He hadn’t been worried about getting into somewhere else. All he had done was knock on the room of Sam’s classmates, when he knew Sam would be in class, and told the girl that answered to let Sam Winchester know that the room was empty. She had looked confused but agreed to pass on the message when he came back with her boyfriend. A huge part of what he was had been left behind in that room, but there hadn’t been anything to stop him from leaving. 

 

As promised, Derek had found him a year ago. Both of them were out of school and the former jock had accepted a position near him. New York was a huge place and it had stunned him to open the door to his ex. They had remained friends for months before he had accepted a date. Once they had gone down that path again, it hadn’t taken long before they had become intimate. 

 

Spencer was content in the relationship, but not happy. Derek was a wonderful boyfriend. He was always being pampered, and there was never a shortage of affection. There was reason to doubt that he was loved. While he pinned for someone that didn’t care about him. He knew it was past time to let go, “Derek.”

 

“Shh… let me say this.” Derek reached inside his pocket. He had planned this dinner for weeks and he knew exactly what he wanted to say. It was kind of unconventional but he had always considered himself a romantic at heart. “I knew the first time I saw you that you were the one. You were sitting by yourself in the courtyard, reading. You glanced up for a moment and smiled at me. You’ve had my heart since that day. Which is why I know that I would like nothing more than to ask you to marry me.”

 

Yes, it was exactly as he had feared. The ring wasn’t a traditional diamond but it was exquisite. The gold band was embedded with small diamonds, four of them. The engraving was seen as it was held up, ‘To My Love’. How could he say no? Just seeing the gesture brought tears to the eyes. What reason was there not to grasp the happiness being offered? His boyfriend was waiting for an answer, “Yes.”

 

“Yes!” The ring was slipped onto the correct finger. Derek jumped and lifted the slender form from the chair. He held on tight, the answer making the wait worthwhile. He had feared that it might be too soon, but he knew what he wanted. Who he wanted. 

 

“Yes!” Spencer returned the kiss. It was comforting to let the arms do nothing but hold onto him. They were engaged, Derek had asked him to marry him. Marriage meant being together all the time, moving in together. They still lived separately, “Stay with me tonight.”

 

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What had he done this time? Sam tossed the drenched jacket onto the back of the couch, uncaring that it would give his brother something else to complain about. The slamming was a sure sign that he was displeased about something and he was guaranteed another migraine before going to sleep. For once he would like to come home and just enjoy being here. It hadn’t happened in over two years. If there wasn’t bitching, it was the parties. “Dean?!”

 

“Sammy, in here.”

 

Like he couldn’t tell that the racket was coming from the kitchen. Sharing a condo with his sibling was a huge mistake but he couldn’t do anything about it. Leaving California had been the first step of getting away from his mistakes. Moving to New York had been Dean’s idea. His older brother had gotten a job in the city and had offered him a room. The degree he had earned had landed him a position above said sibling, which pissed Dean off. He was a shift supervisor and made sixty percent more than the one bitching. “No date?”

 

“Not tonight, I got laid yesterday.” Dean tossed the cold beer, the can was caught. He didn’t feel up to going out tonight. He’d rather sit home and get drunk. “You got a message on the machine.”

 

“You need to disconnect the landline,” everyone had cellphones these days. Sam didn’t answer the home phone for a reason. For the same reason he had changed his cell number three years ago. Now that he was living across the country, all Jess could do was call Dean. 

 

“You should talk to her, so she’ll stop bugging the hell out of me.” Dean didn’t get it, he never had. Jessica had been hot, but even he could tell that Sammy was forcing himself to be with her. He had never liked her much, and the bitch had been the worst thing to happen to his little brother. It had taken a lot to get him through the rough patch. He was proud that Sammy had stuck it out and finished college, even though it made him his boss at work. 

 

“Got nothing to say that she is willing to listen to.” The beer popped open, and he followed back out into the sitting room. His jacket was frowned at then pushed to the floor. It was Dean that grabbed the remote and started surfing through the channels. 

 

“Could always remind her that you like cock,” Dean caught the pillow before it made contact with his head. It was true, there was no harm in speaking it. He was cool with it, Sam was his brother. 

 

“I don’t like cock,” he liked anal. Normally with other males. His ex hadn’t liked to hear it the first time around. She had beaten the shit out of him when he had broken up with her. 

 

“So says the guy that still masturbates to his best friend.” Dean tucked the pillow behind his head and switched the channel. 

 

“He’s not my best friend,” they hadn’t spoken in years. Sam propped his feet up on the arm and leaned back against the other. The chuckle was for not denying the fact. Dean had been guessing at who he thought about. He wouldn’t lie about it, he had already done enough wrong where Spencer was concerned. Whenever he got horny, he would jerk off to the faint memories, which would turn into fantasies. He couldn’t remember how it had started or what he had been thinking at the time. What he did know was that he had enjoyed it. The same image haunted him, looking into the sweet face as Spencer had an orgasm. The single thought got him excited, no matter how many times he had spanked to the idea. 

 

He hadn’t lied to Spencer, that night had ruined their friendship. Sam hadn’t been able to return and face him. It had been enough to convince himself that staying with Jess was what he should do. Spencer had a boyfriend and he had a girl. Just seeing him around campus had weakened his resolve and had started to take its toll on his relationship. Jess had held it over his head, even if she said she knew that it wasn’t his fault. It had been partly his fault, he had done it. He had fucked his best friend and had liked it.

 

When he had suggested to Jess that he didn’t want to lose his friend, she had gone off on him. She had been blunt and spoke what they both knew, he couldn’t go back to being just friends with him. Not after being intimate. Which had made him realize that he did have to make a serious choice. Stay with Jessica, or approach Spencer about being more than just friends. He had called Dean, needing someone to listen to him. 

 

They had sat up most of the night talking. What he realized is that there was no decision to make. He could easily live without being with Jessica. If they broke up he would be nothing but disappointed. However, losing Spencer was something he didn’t want. He had said otherwise because he had been angry, but it had been far from the truth. He cared for his girlfriend, but the beautiful genius was the most important person in his life. Dean had made him realize it, but it had been too late.

 

Sam hated that he had waited. He had woken up late and rushed to class, half asleep and with a lot on his mind. All through class he had debated on how to end things with Jess and how to go about apologizing to Spencer, then approaching the topic of being more than friends. It meant convincing the other to dump the jock, but he had wanted to believe that Spencer wouldn’t sleep with him if there wasn’t something there. The thoughts had kept him going through class, until he had gone to the dorm room. His mess was still on the floor from the day he had packed in haste. What was missing was everything that belonged to Spencer.

 

He had rushed down to registry to see what room Spencer had moved to. The guy had told him that he wasn’t showing him as having transferred to another dorm. As a last resort, he had run to the gym. Spotting the dark basketball player sitting on the bench, he had rushed over. His question of where Spencer was had been met with a hated look. Derek Morgan had stood and told him to get lost. Sam had let his anger go and shoved the jerk back into the hard steel. He had demanded to know where Spencer was staying. Derek had calmly told him that his ex-boyfriend had politely dumped him and then left school. 

 

Without saying a word, Spencer had left. His world had crumbled around him and it had been his doing. He had told him that they couldn’t be friends any longer. The cell number had been changed and none of his emails had been replied to. One had been written the first day, asking where he had gone and asking to speak. The next had been typed out a week later, he had confessed how he felt. He had told Spencer that he missed him and that he had ended things with Jessica because he realized that he was the one he didn’t want to be without. That even if he was only worthy of his friendship, he needed to speak to him. 

 

The third had been sent a week before he graduated. A simple email telling Spencer that he still thought of him and would love to hear from him. The last had been a month ago, he had given in and informed the other that he was living in New York and about his new job. He had ended it with an invite to meet up one day to talk to each other. The last thing he said was he missed him and he had given his cell number. 

 

“Right, because you are an ass.” Dean blamed his brother and had never bothered to withhold his opinion. The fallout was a touchy subject, “You could always go see him instead of jacking off alone in your room. He owns that science geek place on Fifth, I’m sure that means he works there sometimes.”

 

“You mean R&D Biotech?” His Spencer owned it? He knew of it, the bus went by it every day on the way to work. That couldn’t be true, how the hell did Dean know that? “How do you know who owns it?”

 

“Said so in this morning’s paper. It’s on the table if you don’t believe me.” Dean belched and moved first to retrieve the discarded paper. He snatched it from his brother’s reach. “Wait, it does mention who he is but that isn’t the reason he is in the paper. I’m warning you, you might not like it. Page Four.”

 

“Give it, Dean.” Sam wanted to see it. It couldn’t be his Spencer. What were the odds that they would end up in the same city? It was a large place but could it be possible? The paper was handed over, and he turned the page to find four. It was him, the beautiful face hadn’t changed at all. The Headline floored him. “Star Captain and Point Guard engaged.”

 

“Told ya,” Dean raised the bottle and clicked his tongue. The jock had announced his engagement to the nerd. The picture was of the two walking together, holding hands and smiling. “It’s all over the net too. You should see some of the comments. Your little Spencer has some haters, many women want to kill him for landing the hunky piece of chocolate. By the way, I thought you said they broke up.”

 

“Shit!” This wasn’t good. The two were engaged? When? How long had they been together? Sam knew they had separated for a time, at least until the basketball player had graduated. That was right, there had been talk of Derek Morgan being scouted and an offer of going professional. “They must have gotten back together, Dean.”

 

“So, what are you going to do?” Besides sit there and pout? 

 

“What can I do? He has never answered my emails. It doesn’t matter if he lives nearby, he is engaged.” Spencer had obviously decided that it was the darker male that he wanted. It wasn’t him, so what could he do? He would be the friend he hadn’t been in the past and wish him the best. 

 

“He’s also a millionaire. Says so in the comments online.” Dean knew Sam didn’t care about the financial success the little guy had accomplished. All his brother cared about was reuniting with the friend that used to follow him around like a lost puppy. It had been cute for a long time, but he had warned Sam about getting too attached. The moose hadn’t listened and had become too close to his best friend. “They say he’s completely gay too, but you already knew that. If he let that monstrosity you call a penis fuck him, he has to be.”

 

“Dean, you aren’t helping.” Sam got up from the couch, taking the paper with him. The laughter was annoying and it wasn’t something he hadn’t heard all before. Dean had pointed out that some part of his mind had registered the fact that he was about to shove his cock into Spencer. The idea didn’t disgust him, not when he thought about doing it with his best friend. Former best friend since he had made an ass out of himself because he hadn’t been able to handle a truth that had been there all along. If Spencer wouldn’t answer his emails, what else could he do?

 

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It was one of those night, Spencer hated being alone. A few nights a week he could handle but when it was more than a week, his brain got to working. Without Derek around to at least talk to on the phone, his thoughts would stray to places it shouldn’t. It was worse when he was left alone in his condo with nothing to occupy his time. There was work, and he had been slacking for the last two days.

 

Derek had been called out four days ago to shoot a commercial. It came with the job and his fiancé had signed the endorsement deal. They both had responsibilities that kept them apart most of the time. That was possibly the reason he was doubting if the marriage would work. For now, Derek’s career was just starting and it could be years before it slowed down. PR, games, and training took up a lot of time. Spencer worked banker’s hours because he refused to let the job stress him. He had bought and taken over the business so he could be his own boss. 

 

When he thought of marriage, it was to imagine being able to come home and soon be joined by his spouse. He wanted to spend most nights with his someone and not weeks alone at a time. How would the relationship last when he was already having trouble dealing with the separation? Maybe he should get a dog.

 

Work, it would keep his mind off things. He grabbed the box that had been thrown onto the kitchen table, and carried it to the living room. It was placed on the floor and within reach of where he planned to sit. Heading back inside the kitchen, a bottle of water was grabbed from the fridge. Dinner would be takeout tonight, just as soon as he figured out what he wanted. 

 

The television was switched on to his favorite cooking show. The process was already mid-way through and he had no idea what she was working on. It was background noise and he wasn’t interested in cooking duck anyways. He needed to go through this week’s mail, the bills were coming due. He also had to prepare next week’s payroll. 

 

The first envelope was an application for a credit card, trash. He already had three and didn’t need to advance his credit further. The next three were requests to join various magazines. Finally, the bill he had been searching for. The electricity bill that always made him need a strong drink. It barely dented the budget, but it was always more than his mortgage. The bill was always paid online, but he liked to have a paper copy to file away along with the receipt he printed out. Three months after he had taken over, they had claimed that he hadn’t paid a single bill. There had been a lot of apologizing when he had gone in with the receipts and the statements proving that he had given them their money. A simple mix up the woman had claimed. He had not so politely informed her that he kept detailed records of everything so they better make sure that the glitch didn’t happen again. 

 

Reaching down into the box, two magazines were tossed onto the coffee table. He would read over them then place them inside the receptionist’s office. He reached for the remaining envelopes to go over them. His stomach was starting to growl and Chinese was sounding good. The first on the pile was a thank you letter from a client, he’d read it later. 

 

The next was a plain envelope addressed to him and there was no postage. It had been dropped off directly at the office for him. Curious, he turned it over to see if there was a name. There was. S. Winchester with an address penned beneath the identity of the sender. The thin envelope remained between his fingers and he wasn’t sure what to do with it. A letter from Sam? The only other Winchester he was acquainted with was the brother and Dean had no reason to contact him. 

 

Why? What would Sam send him? Not sent, it had been dropped off. That meant Sam had to have come by the office sometime this week and had requested that it be delivered to him. After it went through security, it had been deposited in his mail slot. The address on the back was right here in the city. He knew the area, it was considered to be middle class, not in the bad part of the city. It wasn’t anywhere near his own property value, but Sam had to be doing well for himself. What if it was a wedding invitation? It didn’t feel like a card, just a slip of paper. 

 

If Derek were here, he’d be asked to trash it without opening it. He had promised his boyfriend when they had become intimate that he had put it behind him. That he was over Sam and wouldn’t ever use his resources to locate the man. This wasn’t the same, Sam had found him and was reaching out somehow. Would he be breaking his promise? Wasn’t it enough that he had lied by saying he was over things? He would never be over it, there was too much left unresolved. 

 

The envelope was opened carefully to not tear what was inside. It was a single sheet of paper with Sam’s handwriting on the surface. It was no more than a paragraph long and he really shouldn’t read it. If he wanted to continue on with his current relationship, the best thing would be to shred it. Why should he read anything the man had to say? 

 

‘Spencer, I hope this letter finds you well. After several attempts previously, I decided to take it directly to you knowing that it would be found. Either you read this, and you do as you have with the emails I have sent over the years and choose not to respond. Or by some miracle you read it and decide to speak to me. Even if you do come to the conclusion that you still have no wish to speak to me again, know that I miss you. I recently heard of your engagement, as much as it saddens me, I wish you the best. If anyone deserves to be happy, it is you. There is too much to say and scribbling the words would not do them justice. I ask one more time for the chance to talk to you. I have enclosed my number if you would but call me, it would mean the world just to hear your voice. Yours, Sam.’

 

What emails? It wasn’t true, this was the first time since that day. He hadn’t received any emails from Sam, or he would have responded to them. Since college he had but two email addresses. The one from college wasn’t checked every day since it was old and it was normally spam. The letter was placed on the couch and he stormed into the room to retrieve his laptop. It was a lie, there had been no emails. He had checked it just last night, the only email address that Sam could possibly use. 

 

Once in his room, he sat down on the mattress and reached for his laptop. It was always kept on the bedside table, on his side. He allowed it to boot and connect to the wifi. His email was brought up, nothing had changed since last night, except an advertisement for Viagra. That was deleted and he knew that there were no emails from Sam. Why lie about it? Why say he had tried to contact him before now? No one else had access to his emails and no one would want to get into his personal junk. The only person that would care if Sam emailed him was Derek. 

 

His gaze swept to the laptop sitting on the nightstand. It wasn’t possible. It had been left because his fiancé had been here the night he had gotten the call about the change of dates for the shoot. That night before bed, Derek had been on his laptop, checking email. Why was he so ready to think the worst? Derek couldn’t know that Sam would try to talk to him. That didn’t make any sense. 

 

Then why was he opening up the computer? Could his lover know his password? Yes, several times he had checked it when they had dated in college. He hadn’t thought to hide it. Just like he knew the password to access the laptop. Just seeing the fingers typing, he knew exactly what letters were used to unlock it. It booted up and immediately connected to his internet. The web browser was brought up, it was fresh and nothing had been left up. Sighing, he clicked to search the history. This laptop was no more than a year old, so it didn’t go back too far. 

 

What the hell? Almost every day since they had been dating, the browser had gone to his provider, Derek didn’t use gmail. He clicked on the most recent, and it brought up the login screen. Sitting in the box was where his name and password were saved to the computer. To make sure, he clicked to log in. A few seconds later and his inbox was showing on the screen, completely empty now that he had cleared it. Derek had been checking his mail? Now he wished he hadn’t bothered to check. 

 

It stung, it pissed him off. What right did Derek have to look at his personal mail? Dating or not, he didn’t open or read his boyfriend’s fan mail. The only one that knew why and for how long was out of reach. The cell was always turned off during a shoot and right now he didn’t think he wanted to talk to him. 

 

It brought up the question of how many emails had been deleted, and what each had said. What did it mean? Why would Derek want to make sure that Sam never got in contact with him? Was it because his boyfriend didn’t think he could be trusted? What part of Sam’s disgust hadn’t been clear? What part of Sam not being interested in men, especially him, hadn’t been conveyed when he had cried?

 

Both laptops were closed down. He didn’t want to think about why it had been done. It had been wrong. Whether or not he spoke to his friend was his decision. It wasn’t Derek’s right to make it for him. Now he had no idea what had been said in the messages. How could he be sure if he wanted to talk to Sam if he had no idea what to expect? 

 

Had Sam gotten married? Was he still with Jessica? Was the man still upset over what had happened? If he was, he wouldn’t be trying to talk to him, would he? Or was his friend just seeking some kind of closure? That was most likely the case and if it were, he wasn’t sure how he felt about seeing Sam just to say goodbye for the final time. But why contact him just to say goodbye? It had already been said in a cruel way one time, did it need to be said again?

 

It had said that he was missed. Did it mean Sam wanted to rekindle their friendship? Was he okay with that? Spencer wasn’t sure if he could be friends and not have it affect his current relationship. It already had! It wasn’t Sam’s fault that his boyfriend had invaded his privacy, but if Derek had been going that far to make sure they never spoke again, he wouldn’t accept them being friends again. Still, he wanted to know what had been said in those emails and what Sam had to say to him. 

 

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“Man, this is awesome! You got to move in with me,” Dean took another bite of the tender meat. It was so juicy, just touching it with his tongue caused it to break apart and melt in his mouth. He wasn’t one for vegetables either, but they had been cooked in a way that it blended with the spicy noodles. It was delicious and at this rate, he would be eating what was left in the pot. “I’ll kick Sam out.”

 

“You don’t have room for all my books.” Spencer was glad that his skills were appreciated but the longer he waited, the more nervous he became. Some of the tension had eased when it had been Dean to answer the door and not the blonde woman. He’d been pulled into an awkward hug and inside before he could find his voice. 

 

“Then I’ll move in with you,” As long as he wasn’t expected to pay half the bills. Dean chuckled at the flustered expression. If Sammy was able to patch things up so he could be invited to dinner every now and then, he’d be happy. Neither of them could cook for shit and every fast food joint in the area knew them by name. “Don’t worry, he’ll be home soon.”

 

Would he? Did he want to wait? It had taken him all day to get up the nerve to drive over, an hour to get through traffic, and he was now questioning himself. Was this the best thing? Maybe a phone call would have been easier. Sam hadn’t said to drop by. He had come over unannounced. “Maybe I should just call him later.”

 

“Oh hell no, you aren’t leaving.” No way, he would tackle his ass and leave him tied up on Sam’s bed as a present. For the last four days his brother had been walking around with a huge glacier on his shoulders. He hadn’t been sure of the cause until Spencer has said that Sam left him a note asking to talk. “I got rope in my room and I’ll use it. If he finds out that you left and I didn’t stop you, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

 

“I won’t ask why you got rope in your room.” Spencer eyed the plate that was near clean. He had offered to cook because Dean had been tossing things into a pot and he had feared for his lungs if the womanizer started cooking. Dean had taken a seat and left him to make dinner. There was enough for four normal people, but half of it was already gone. Still a glutton and a wiseass. 

 

“For the same reason my brother stares at the same picture every night and moans about how much he likes anal. We all have our kinks and things we like. I like to be tied up,” Dean reached for the spoon. There was no point in letting it go to waste. Sam wouldn’t eat once he was home. 

 

“I don’t wanna know about it,” The image was disturbing. Dean was cute by a lot of standards, but he had never done anything for Spencer. Possibly because Dean had always treated him like the little brother you loved to give a bunch of shit. He also didn’t want to hear about Sam’s kinks or to know that there was someone Sam fantasized about. 

 

“Wanna see the picture?” Dean would show it to him. 

 

“NO! I should have burnt your food.” He should have known he wouldn’t be able to wait and not be given a hard time. It wasn’t in Dean’s nature to be sensitive. This was hard for him, he was nervous about seeing Sam again. 

 

“Would still have tasted better than what I was making.” Dean shoveled another forkful into his mouth to chew. Reaching forward, he snagged a chunk of the homemade bread. This was the kind of wife he needed, one that could cook. He stopped mid-chew hearing the front door open. “See, he’s home.”

 

“Dean?!” A pause from the other room. “Is that takeout?”

 

“Hey Sammy!” Dean lifted his fork to salute his sibling that came to a sole squeaking halt on the tile as he rounded the corner. He had to smile, it was just too damn amusing to see the disbelief and the excitement, mixed with fear. “Nah, I bought the groceries so you don’t get bitching rights. But Spencer here was kind enough to take my turn at cooking. You should try some.”

 

Spencer. It wasn’t the same as seeing the hastily snapped photo in the paper. Sam hadn’t thought it would come to this. Never had he thought that Spencer would show up at his door. He wasn’t prepared for it. It was more than he had been hoping for. After years, Spencer was here. “Spencer.”

 

“Right, I’ll just take my plate and hide in my room, seeing as I’m not needed out here.” Dean didn’t want to witness whatever was going to happen. Knowing his brother, there was be a fight at some point. 

 

“Sam,” He had changed. Spencer wasn’t sure what to make of it. The hair was longer, down to the chin, and the facial hair. The dark stubble covered the face and throat. Why the scruffy look? It did suit Sam, made him ruggedly handsome. Seeing him again, it was like the last four years hadn’t happened, and the emotions he had kept suppressed long before then tried to resurface. “I hope I’m not intruding, your letter said to call.”

 

“That’s okay, it’s okay.” This was better, much better. There would be no hang ups and he’d be able to speak freely. However, he didn’t want to do it where Dean was surely listening at the door. “I’m glad you stopped by, I wasn’t sure if I’d hear from you.”

 

“Do you want to talk here?” Because there was a shadow at the bedroom door. The pig was sitting on the other side trying to listen. He didn’t want to discuss things, in case that night was brought up. Dean hadn’t mentioned whether or not Sam had told him why they had a falling out. The brother hadn’t come out and asked why he had let Sam fuck him while the other was plastered. 

 

“My room? We’ll have some privacy. Just talking, I just want to talk.” Sam just wanted to talk to him. It was a start. He led the way down the hall to take them to the spare bedroom. It wasn’t as large as Dean’s but it worked. “Take a seat wherever you would like.” 

 

“I’ll stand,” Spencer didn’t want to get too comfortable. This was a chance to repair their friendship, nothing else. He wouldn’t ask for anything else. If Sam could forgive him and want to be friends again. 

 

“Alright,” Sam took a seat on the edge of his mattress. Now that it was happening, he wasn’t sure where to begin. Spencer had come by so they could finally talk and he wanted to do nothing more than to hug him. He wanted to pull him into his arms and never let go. “Do you mind if we skip the small talk?”

 

“Up to you,” he had already learned a few things from Dean. Like Sam and Jessica weren’t together, hadn’t been for years. That meant she hadn’t been able to get past the cheating. He had ruined that for Sam. 

 

“Then let me start by apologizing for the way I behaved that morning.” He’d been an ass. A huge one, and he hadn’t wanted to admit that it was his fault as well. He hadn’t been the only one that had been affected by it. Spencer had also been unfaithful and had lost someone. He still couldn’t figure out why he had been allowed to do it, or why Spencer would want him to do it. “I freaked out and said a lot of things I didn’t mean. I know I’ve already told you all this, but let me say it again.”

 

Things that had been said in the missing emails? Was he about to hear what Sam had written? Spencer didn’t interrupt, he wanted to hear it all. He had a feeling that his boyfriend knew exactly what Sam was about to repeat, and he would learn why Derek thought he shouldn’t be allowed to read them. 

 

“I know the blame isn’t completely yours, hell, most of it is probably mine. Once I was able to sit down and think clearly, I knew I behaved like an asshole.” Sam prayed he let him finish before storming out. “You aren’t the type of person to do something that would knowingly hurt others without a reason. I’m sure I started it and for some reason you didn’t stop me. Instead of turning on you, I should have tried to figure out the reason you would let me touch you. Instead, I did blame you, because I couldn’t face what it meant. I was scared of what kind of change it would bring, most of all I was scared about what it meant for our relationship. I lied to you. What I do remember is hazy and scattered, but what I do know is that I knew exactly who I was being with. I know what I said must have hurt and I am truly sorry.”

 

“It did,” It had crushed him. It would have been better to think it had been a truth. Sam admitting it had been a lie made the ache resurface. To know that it had been said out of spite, to hurt him intentionally. To insult him, to make him feel like shit, it had worked. “You were my first.”

 

“I’m so sorry.” His first. He’d been his first? What of Derek? Hadn’t the two done something before that? Spencer wouldn’t lie to him about it, so that meant he had turned something that should have been special into something horrible. “I didn’t think and you deserved better than that. I can apologize every day but I can’t change what I did. As I’ve already begged of you several times, and I do so again, will you forgive me?”

 

Several times. There was the indication again that Sam had tried to make up with him. Once his boyfriend returned, they would be having a serious discussion. Did he want to forgive Sam for the cruel words? “What exactly are you asking of me?”

 

“I’m asking to be your friend again,” Because it was too soon for anything else. “I miss you and if you give me anything, I want my friend back.” 

 

Just his friend. Spencer chastised himself for wishing that wasn’t what Sam wanted. It was ludicrous to think Sam would want anything else from him. They were friends, nothing more. Sam was still straight and if he said yes, he would have to finally accept that fact. “Okay.”

 

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Was he really going to do this? Spencer silenced his cell, ignoring the call from work. They could handle it without him. He had been working himself up to this confrontation since Derek had called and told him that he was coming back. His mood had been detected over the line, and the tense shoulders was a clue that his boyfriend was apprehensive about coming inside. It had to be done. How could he marry someone that would invade his privacy and make that kind of decision for him? How many women and men didn’t his ex keep in touch with? Spencer had to trust him with the fans, the flashy women, but he wouldn’t be trusted to make the right choice when it came to who he wanted to be with? Who he should remain friends with? 

 

So far all they had done was speak on the phone a few times because both of them worked. He had ignored several calls from his boyfriend because he had been on the other line with Sam. They had been catching up and he was glad to have his friend back. It was the reason they had been close for so long, they got on well. He wanted to be friends with Sam, even if nothing ever came from it. 

 

“Pretty boy,” Derek put his bag next to the door. What was this about? He had sensed the tone when he had been granted permission to come over. He had done something to upset Spencer. Something was bugging him. “Do I at least get a proper hello?”

 

“NO! You don’t get a sorry ass excuse for one either.” Spencer ran a hand through his hair. He would have his answers, before deciding what to do. He cared about Derek, they were good together. But he wasn’t going to overlook what had been done. “You have three seconds to explain to me why you thought it necessary to constantly hack into my email. You will also tell me how long you have been doing it.”

 

“I….” How had he found out? What to say? Derek sighed, “I decided to do it not long after you left Stanford. I knew you weren’t going to get in touch with me and I wanted to know where you were going. I figured if I checked it, you may accidently relay your plans to someone else. I only did it to keep tabs on you.”

 

“Is that why you deleted the emails from Sam?” He had him. The guilt crept into the eyes and remained. Spencer wanted to throw something at him. How could he do that? “You had no right to even hack into my email. That is invading my privacy. You didn’t just do it to keep tabs on me, you got rid of the emails you didn’t want me to see. Why the hell would you do that?”

 

“What do you want me to say?” Derek raised his own voice, upset that he that wouldn’t be able to make Spencer understand his reason for it. “My original purpose was as I said. I got on there to see if I could find you. I knew something more was going on when he found me the same day you left. He was the reason you left me, and he was still trying to contact you. I deleted the first one because I didn’t think he deserved a chance to talk to you. I was waiting to hear from you, I was the one that cared for you. Then he sends a long ass message spouting nonsense about how he felt.”

 

“What did it say?” Spencer demanded. What had Sam said in that message? They had agreed to be friends but Sam had mentioned something about expressing how he felt already. “Tell me, you owe me that much. If I mean anything to you then you will tell me what I had the right to know.”

 

“He wanted you back!” Derek hated the man more seeing the hope come to life in the glassy eyes. “He went on how he realized you were the one he couldn’t bear to lose. That he realized that you were the one he wanted to be with. He was begging you to come back to him. How could I let you read that?”

 

“How could you not?! It was meant for me. You should have allowed me to make that choice, it wasn’t yours to make.” Sam had written all that? Sam had wanted him to come back? Sam had wanted to be with him? It had been four years, but to think that he could have had his chance. Instead, Sam believed he had ignored the message. Which meant Sam believed his answer had been no to the question of being together. 

 

“So you could blindly run back to him? He was confused and he doesn’t know what he wants. He turned against you, he turned you against ME. He destroyed our relationship and said God knows what to make you hate yourself. I don’t regret getting rid of it or every one since. I don’t want you talking to him.” 

 

“You don’t get to decide that.” Spencer shouted at the announcement. Derek wasn’t going to be happy about them rekindling their friendship. Four years had passed and whatever Sam had felt was most likely gone, but they could still be friends. He wasn’t going to change his mind about it. “Bad enough he thinks I was being a heartless bastard by not answering him all these years.”

 

“You’ve spoken to him,” how? “What did he do? Did he hunt you down at work? I should have known he wouldn’t stop. Is it wrong for me to protect someone I love?”

 

“You weren’t protecting me, you were protecting your own interests. If you were hoping for a future with me then you should have allowed me to make the choice on my own.” It had been his choice. Spencer wanted to turn back time and go back to when the email had first been sent. When Sam had been contemplating more than being friends. Or just a time when his best friend had come to realize that he meant something. 

 

“Choice? You would have gone to him and we both know it. We were together for weeks and the most you let me do is kiss you. All it took from Winchester was a grope and you were all over him. You would have run back with bells on and I would have had to wait for you to realize that it was a huge mistake. Then I would have been left to pick up the pieces.”

 

“GET OUT!” Spencer pointed to the door. He had heard enough, he didn’t want to hear any more. “Get your ass out of my home. Don’t you dare turn this against me. I will never again apologize for doing what I did. I slept with him because I was in love with him. Don’t you try to cheapen it because I wasn’t ready to be with you.”

 

“That’s my problem, right there. You were in love with him then and you still are.” Derek couldn’t believe it had come to this. All it took was Sam showing up in the picture and all that they had meant nothing. This was all Sam’s fault and he wouldn’t let it go. Spencer wouldn’t be happy with the other man, and Sam didn’t deserve him. 

 

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“Want me to get that?” Sam rolled both eyes at the giggling. The two wouldn’t notice it if a mob were to push their way inside and invade. Where the hell was Dean’s hand? He didn’t want to know. The pink flush was a telltale sign that the two would soon be going into the bedroom. The pounding continued on the door, leaving Sam to deal with it. If it was one of Dean’s other dates, he’d allow the girl in and go out for some dinner. The person he wanted to spend time with was working late and he wouldn’t be able to talk to him until later this evening. 

 

“Yeah,” Sam opened the door to see who was being impatient. The unwanted guest registered in his brain a split second before the fist landed, making a solid connection with his eye. The weight rushed him, and the impact took him to the floor. 

 

“Shit!” Dean rolled the girl off of his lap, seeing the two hit the floor. That wasn’t good. The fist landed again, slugging his brother in the face. It wasn’t his fight but he wasn’t the type to allow someone to break into their home and start a fight. “Get up, Sammy.”

 

“You fucker!” Sam was pissed, the asshole was trying to destroy his face. He delivered two of his own punches to the ribs and a frantic headbutt to the nose. The jock was pushed off, allowing him to stand. It was low but he was beyond pissed realizing why the man had come to his home. The man had a lot of nerve picking a fight. He delivered a hard kick to the ribs. 

 

Dammit, there went his entertainment center. Dean waved the girl to get back, possibly in the kitchen to get out of the way. Derek Morgan drove again, taking Sam in the stomach and plowing his brother into the five thousand dollar system. Glass broke and his things went to the floor. Someone was going to pay for that. 

 

Sam drove an elbow into the back, trying to get the man off of him. Twice more and he played it like a bitch, he brought his leg up between the man’s legs. He took the half-assed punch and returned the favor, knocking the intruder on his ass. “What the hell is your problem?”

 

Derek wiped the blood from his nose. This wasn’t over, it was barely starting. “You, you! You couldn’t just let it go, could you? You ruined things once and I won’t allow you to do it again. You stay the hell away from my fiancé. Spencer doesn’t want anything to do with you.”

 

“Really? That isn’t what he told me earlier,” Sam shook his head. He didn’t want Dean interfering, this was his fight. Spencer was a little apprehensive when they spoke but was still talking to him. He wouldn’t let the boyfriend get in the way. The only reason Derek was in the picture was because he hadn’t been. Soon enough he would convince Spencer that he could be better for him. “And I have no intention of staying away from Spencer, and him being your fiancé is something I plan to rectify.”

 

“You think I’ll let that happen? You think your pretty lies will make a difference this time? They didn’t back then and they won’t now, because I won’t give you the chance to steal him from me.”

 

“You can’t keep me from him.” Sam wanted to slap the smug grin. He wasn’t going to let anyone come between them again. He hadn’t waited this long to have some pompous asshole interfere. 

 

“I have before and I will do it again,” Derek wanted him to accept that it was useless. Spencer was his and this relationship or friendship, wasn’t going to happen. Even if Spencer didn’t want more now, he wasn’t going to give Sam the chance to change his mind. “Did you think I was going to let you walk back into his life? You did me a favor by showing what a bastard you truly are, all on your own. Did you think for one moment I was going to stand back and let you take what was mine? He was mine and you should have been smart enough to walk away instead of trying to send false words, begging for a chance to reconcile.”

 

“How?” How did the man know about the emails? Had Spencer told him? Derek had just confessed to something, boasted of it. He had kept him from Spencer before? Which time? Not recently, because he had delivered the message directly to Spencer’s work. “The emails. You kept him from talking to me, didn’t you?”

 

“That should have been your sign that it wasn’t going to happen. You should have taken the hint and left it alone. It doesn’t matter if you have apologized, I’ve spent the last two years giving Spencer what he needs, and you aren’t to speak to him again. I’ll make sure of it.”

 

“Whoa!” Dean wrapped his arms around the waist to keep the part of his system that wasn’t destroyed from eating the floor. It was done, there was no need to fight. The man was leaving, having had his say. Continuing to brawl wasn’t going to accomplish anything. “Let him go, Sammy!”

 

“You bastard! It isn’t over, you haven’t won.” Sam was seething at the cocky swagger. It was far from being over. That was the reason Spencer hadn’t answered him? That dick had kept Spencer from reading his letters. That meant Spencer knew nothing, except what little bit he had repeated the other night. The genius had no idea that he had wanted to be with him. And he had thought that Spencer hadn’t answered because it wasn’t what he wanted. All this time he had thought he had lost his chance. 

 

“Let him go, he isn’t worth it.” Dean patted the shoulder affectionately. He would say Sammy had won that fight. “If you want to do something, then fix what he did. Work on your relationship with Spencer, don’t bring yourself down to his level.”

 

“You mean the same Dr. Reid that was in the paper with him?” The blonde spoke from the kitchen, drink in hand. This had turned into a most interesting date. The famous basketball player was starting fights over his fiancé, and she knew the guy that was trying to steal the doctor. She couldn’t wait to tweet about it. “As in the really cute, really adorable, super rich Dr. Reid that half my friends want to turn straight.”

 

“I won’t hit a girl,” Sam shrugged off the hold. Her friends could go to hell too. None were convincing Spencer of anything. She best stick to his brother. “But I will slap a bitch.”

 

“He is jesting,” Dean didn’t want her leaving thinking she was about to get punched in the face. “Go calm yourself, I will clean up this mess. You are going to pay for this. Wait, where are you going?”

 

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Spencer rushed hearing his cellphone going off for the third time in succession. His hair was dripping wet, but Sam’s name was highlighted. He had promised to text once he was home and after getting settled in. It had been a hectic day at work and he had already taken something for his migraine. “Hello.”

 

“Spence, what number are you? Which condo and can you buzz me in?”

 

“Um, top floor, number three and the code to access the floor is zero-five-zero-two. You’ll be asked for the code when you select the floor.” Spencer looked at the phone and walked over to press button to allow Sam to come inside the building. What was he doing here? It would be the first time Sam had been to his place. He glanced around, wondering if there was anything that should be changed. 

 

There wasn’t really any time to do anything. There were still some signs of his soon to be ex around. Like the football plague on top of the entertainment center. Some of Derek’s clothes were in the hamper, because he hadn’t felt like washing. Why was he stressing about it? Sam knew they were a couple, for now, and he probably didn’t even care any longer.

 

The doorbell reminded him of the fact that he had just stepped out of the shower to answer the phone. If he made Sam to wait, it would be rude, when he had been given warning that the man was coming up. Sighing, he made sure he had a tight hold of the towel and went to the door. He would let him in then he would go put on some clothes. They had agreed to do something together this weekend, why the sudden appearance?

 

He undid the deadbolt and the chain, to crack the door to make sure it was Sam banging. It was, so the last chain was removed and he opened up. “Come in, but you caught me just getting out of the shower. What happened to your face? Is that a black eye?”

 

It was, but it wasn’t important. The jock had a nice right hook. Sam wanted to know one thing. He had driven over here for the confrontation. What he had to say wouldn’t be said over the phone. The door closed behind him and he waited until the deadbolt was slid into place. “Did you get any of my emails? Did you read them?”

 

“No, I didn’t. I just found out that Derek got rid of them before I had a chance to see them. The first time I heard from you was when I got the letter that you dropped off at work.” That was a busted eye, Spencer reached out to touch the split lip. Someone had punched Sam in the face several times. “Who hit you?”

 

“Your fiancé, he came to my place, and decided to threaten me to stay away from you. He wasn’t polite about it,” Sam had his answers. Spencer hadn’t known and it was the fiance’s doing. Then he wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt by playing dirty to get what he wanted. 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know he’d do that.” Yes, he did. Derek wasn’t happy about their last conversation. He was going to accept Sam’s friendship and he had told Derek that if he couldn’t handle it then they couldn’t be together. Derek had gone on a tirade saying that Sam didn’t want to be friends with him. He was sure the email had been misread, Sam just wanted their friendship back. “He says he doesn’t trust you.”

 

“He has every reason not to trust me, especially if he read what I wrote to you.” Sam took the few steps separating them, capturing the hand that had reached out towards his face. The smooth palm was brought to his cheek and he placed a chaste kiss before looking directly into the wide eyes. “Nothing has changed for me. I miss my friend, and I am glad that you are willing to put the past behind us and be friends again.”

 

That made him happy too. He had missed Sam. Having the man walk out on him had hurt worse than anything he had known. Why was Sam kissing his knuckles? That wasn’t a friendly gesture and it was doing things to his stomach. If Derek didn’t trust them it was because of how he still felt, it had nothing to do with Sam’s honor. 

 

Sam nuzzled the palm, enjoying the small contact. “If friendship is all you are willing to give then I will accept that. However, I will be honest and tell you that I want more. I wanted more then and still do. I ended things with Jessica because I didn’t want to lose you. Before I could tell you, you left, and that is why I wrote the email. I wanted you to know how I felt. I want you and that is why he knows not to trust me.”

 

This wasn’t happening to him. Spencer couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t a confession of love but it was something he had always wanted to hear. Sam saying he wanted him, not as a friend. What could he say? He was still with Derek but his heart near leapt from his chest at the words. “Kiss me.”

 

Just one. Sam obliged, tilting his face down to find the seeking mouth. Soft and warm, the lips were sweet to the taste. Spencer had asked to be kissed, it would be one to help sway the decision that would need to be made. He wrapped his arms around the narrow waist to hold on. 

 

Hot, and just as the wild as the one holding onto him. Spencer let the tongue play with his own. Turning his head to grant better access. He cupped the handsome face between his hands, the tips of his fingers tangling in the thick hair. He could barely keep up with the exploration. Sam was trying to map out the inner recesses with the sheer amount of time the kiss was allotted. 

 

It broke but for a moment, before he was being kissed again. The tongue sliding into his mouth, licking his teeth, then to find his own. Sam fisted the cotton so close to his fingers, needing something to focus on. Anything besides the electricity that spiked down his spine and the way his body was reacting. He was already aching, his cock straining in the jeans. The simple kiss was anything but. “Spence.”

 

“Sam,” it was Sam’s mouth latched onto his own. Spencer tried to move closer, he could feel the heat coming from the solid body. He wanted more, he didn’t want it to end. He took the initiative and lapped at the hesitant pink treat. It got the desired response, it slammed into his own, taking over the kiss. Why was he suddenly pulling away? “What?”

 

“Wait, or the towel is going to be tossed.” Sam wanted to get rid of it and his own clothes. They had matching erections, and it would be so easy to do the irresponsible thing and have sex. “I want to, you have no idea how bad I want to.”

 

So did he, so why shouldn’t they? Spencer could feel the erection, the bulge was prominent in the denim, the tip had angled its way out and could be seen beneath the shirt. He wanted to, he longed for it. He wanted to be with Sam again. “But you won’t.”

 

“No, not like this.” Sam didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. “I don’t want a quick fuck from you, I want everything. Right now, you still have a fiancé and we have decided to be friends. I want you to take the time and decide what you want, who you want. I will give you the time you need to come to me. I will be your friend until the time comes that you decide that you want to be with me. If it isn’t what you want then I will accept that. I will be disappointed and unhappy, but I want you to be sure before we jump into anything. I want you, and I want to do it right this time.” 

 

“I..” He didn’t need time to decide. Spencer let the kiss land and he knew that Sam wouldn’t accept his answer right now. He could protest and say that this was what he wanted but Sam would still leave tonight. “Alright, but I wish you’d stay anyways.”

 

“If I stay, we both know what will happen tonight.” And it was what he couldn’t allow to happen. Spencer had to come to him without any doubts because once they went that far, there would be no turning back for him. “Take the time, you know where to find me once you’ve made your decision.”

 

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Zero-five-zero-two, his birthday. Had Spencer chosen the code or was it coincidence? Sam fidgeted as the box began to rise to the penthouse floor. The last time here he hadn’t bothered to take in the grandeur of the building. It was for people with extra cash to waste. The monthly payment had to be thrice what Dean and he paid for their place. Spencer said he was buying it, so there was no renting in this place. It came with a spa, gym, a pool, and its own park.

 

Spencer had sent a text asking him to come straight from work, so he had. He definitely stood out in the place. The old lady waiting on the elevator gave him an odd look and had the nerve to stand there and watch to see which penthouse he was going to. He had to laugh, like he was going to rob the place. The text had said to come straight inside when he arrived. With a prayer that the old hag wouldn’t call the police, he stepped inside the abode. “Spencer?”

 

“In the kitchen.”

 

Right, the kitchen. He had no idea where it was. He’d only seen the living room the one time. It was twice the size as theirs and it was decorated by someone that loved to read. Spencer had always been into historical cultures. The voice had come from the left, not the door on the far right. He went in that direction. He did feel out of place strolling inside in his jeans and t-shirt. He was filthy from working out on the yard today. “Spence?”

 

“Hey, do you want to take a shower before dinner?” Spencer swore after checking the casserole. It would take another hour at the least to get done. “I got held up at work and there was traffic coming from the store so dinner is going to be a bit late. Is that okay?”

 

“Yes, that is fine. Um, a shower would be great but I don’t have anything to put on.” Or he could walk out nude. Would that help speed along Spencer’s decision? Sam knew he had promised to give Spencer as much time as he needed but a month had already passed and he still didn’t know where he stood. It hadn’t stopped them from talking or spending time together. He had also refrained from asking about the fiancé. Spencer had promised that his relationship would Derek wouldn’t interfere with their friendship, and it hadn’t. 

 

“I picked you up something the other day.” Spencer fiddled with the temperature, “The bedroom is that way. Step inside, you should see the door the bathroom. Everything you need is in there. Also, if you look on the left side of the bed, you’ll see a bag from Odin’s.”

 

“Odin’s? You bought me something from Odin’s?” Sam paused, at the slight nod. He should bitch, he wasn’t the kind of person to want his significant other to spend money on him. The shorts alone in the place barely went under two hundred a pair. He’d go see what it was. He did need something to wear and he’d lecture Spencer later if it was expensive. 

 

“Go, jump in the shower.” Spencer wiped his hands on the towel. They needed to talk and he wanted Sam to be comfortable when they did. Enough time had passed and he had taken care of everything that needed to be done. The salad was placed inside the fridge, where the steaks were sitting in the marinade. They would be cooked last. Before dinner, he wanted to get the talking out of the way so they could enjoy it. 

 

All that was left was to let the oven slowly cook dinner and have a word with Sam. He would do it where Sam couldn’t insist on leaving. A month was more than enough time and his choice hadn’t changed since the first night. It had been hard to end things with Derek. But he didn’t regret it. Staying would mean settling and he didn’t want to miss out on this chance. They may not work as a couple, but he wanted to know. 

 

The bedroom door was left open and he could hear the shower running. As planned, Sam had jumped straight into the shower to get clean. The sweats were pulled down, the t-shirt tossed aside. The double glass doors were steamed from the heat. He pulled the right door open to create enough space for him to slip inside.

 

“Spence,” if someone else was opening the shower, he wouldn’t be held responsible for his actions. He turned to confront the intruder, and his shower was being interrupted. Naked, the doctor was joining him. That wasn’t exactly fair and friends didn’t shower together. Some did, but not when it was known that he wanted more. “What about dinner?”

 

“It will be fine without me for a while. This way you can’t run out on me,” Spencer closed the glass, shutting them both inside. A shower with Sam, “I have something I need to say but you will allow me to wash your back as I do so. Turn back around so I can get it.”

 

“Alright,” Sam gave him his back. The washcloth he’d been using was taken from his hand. This wasn’t the same as being able to push Spencer against the tile but he could work it. What did Spencer want to talk about? Let it be along the lines that the jock was out of the picture. “What did you want to discuss?” 

 

“I waited a month so you wouldn’t question my decision and if you do so now, I’ll blacken your eye.” Spencer ran the soapy rag over the broad shoulders. Wasn’t Sam a supervisor? How had he gotten so dirty? At least he knew that his shower was roomy enough for them both without having to worry over pushing each other out. “I am single, have been for the entire month. I ended things with Derek the next day. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you accusing me of rushing my decision.” 

 

That was rushed, but he wasn’t going to say anything. If Spencer hadn’t changed his mind and gone back to the other man, then he would accept that the decision was the right one. 

 

“Now, you have no reason to not accept what I am about to say.” Spencer ran the rag   
down the spine, scrubbing the lower back. As of tonight, he wanted to become a couple. “Turn around for me.”

 

“If you’re sure,” Sam turned, the material followed, making a path to his stomach. He chuckled when it brushed across the obvious arousal. “What decision did you come to?”

 

“That I want you, I always have.” And the hardness was distracting. Spencer licked his bottom lip, he was about to be unfair. “If you still want to be with me, then you’ll finish in the shower and come join me in bed.”

 

Finish? Sam accepted the rag and made short work of removing the rest of the dirt from his skin. The door closed behind the vacating Spencer, leaving him alone to rush. The hair was shampooed in under a minute. He rinsed the remainder of the soap off. The water was turned off, and he stepped out. A towel was waiting for him, it got rid of the water that still clung to him. Bed, the towel was thrown into the hamper. Stepping out into the bedroom, his cock jerked. In bed, meant on the bed. Spencer was laying on the mattress waiting on him. 

 

That was for him. Spencer wanted the entire package, and couldn’t wait. Everything they would need was nearby, if it went that far. “Do you still want to be more than friends? Or do you want the clothes I bought for you?”

 

“I’ll take the clothes, but not until later. I don’t need them right now.” Sam crawled across the king-sized bed on his hands and knees. What he wanted was a kiss, to confirm what this would mean. “Last chance, if I kiss you, I’m going to consider you mine. Tell me now because I’m not going to be able to stop once we do.”

 

“Are you going to kiss me, or make me wait another month?” Spencer was rewarded for his tone. He didn’t want to stop, or wait any longer. The lips were rough, slanting over his own. There was nothing between them to prevent the large cock from dangling downwards and brushing along his stomach. He wanted to touch, he hadn’t had the chance to the first time. 

 

“Oh, shit,” Sam clenched his fists and gasped at the sensation. The hand was slowly stroking him, exploring down to the base. The fingers wrapped around him, massaging the lower half. The pad of the thumb came up to rub the moisture across his slit. The head was being toyed with, “Spence, please don’t tease me. You have no idea how anxious I am.”

 

“I hope as much as I,” Spencer was past the point of being anxious. He wanted to touch, explore, and feel, but what he wanted most was to feel the huge cock buried deep inside. To hold onto the man he loved as they got as close as they could get. Without asking he reached for the bottle, he wanted to hear Sam’s voice. The lube was squeezed into his palm, the oil meant to always feel warm. No wonder he hadn’t been able to take all of it without hurting. 

 

He was close, it couldn’t be prevented. The hand was skillfully working him to orgasm, or was that the plan? He didn’t want to get off in Spencer’s hand. And he had to make sure they were both ready. Where the hell was the bottle? Trying to find the lubrication got his cock free so he could move his hips back. It was Spencer to find it and to offer up a generous amount on his two fingers. 

 

Spencer was okay with releasing his hold, he didn’t want Sam to finish yet. It was his turn to be touched. The fingers found him, he wasn’t the only one impatient to continue. He was breached and the two fingers began to prepare him. “Sam, please.”

 

He got it, they were both ready to be together. Sam forwent the condom pack that had been placed nearby. He didn’t want anything between them, or to kill the feeling. Replacing his fingers took more patience and time. How had he gotten it in the first time without ending things before they started? The tip of his cock was aligned perfectly but it wouldn’t go through. To get it in, he was going to have to force it. “I’m gonna hurt you.” 

 

“Swap with me,” Spencer realized what the problem was, Sam was trying to be careful. Sober, Sam was aware of the damage he could cause if he weren’t careful Their positions were flipped and he climbed on top of the larger man. If he wanted to do anything, he had to do it. If they were going to be together sexually, Sam would have to overcome the hesitation. Even if it was slightly painful, he could deal with it. The head was repositioned to rest where he wanted it and Spencer gave no warning, lest Sam try to convince him to be gentle.

 

Sam wanted to touch but Spencer was teasing him by running the bulbous head against the closed ring. He brought his palms to rest on the smooth thighs. He trusted that Spencer would know exactly what he could handle. The question was how to begin without hurting his lover. How had they gotten past it the first time? Or had he been inconsiderate and just taken him? The smile warmed him, seeing the beautiful face light up for him. “Fuck! Oh my god, Babe!”

 

The nails dug into his thighs and the harsh scream filled the room. Spencer loved it, the dark head was thrown back and he got the reaction he wanted by using his weight to bring his bottom down fast and hard. The cock went in deep, unable to go further due to the position. His hands were placed on the chiseled chest to support him. Rocking barely had the cock moving within but it stimulated everywhere. Just having Sam felt so right. “Oh yes, you feel so good, Sam.”

 

Yes, he agreed. Sam bit down to keep from getting off. The pain barely distracted enough to keep his cock from releasing. It was so tight and hot. The way Spencer rode him, taking his pleasure. The eyes were closed, the pretty mouth open to release the tiny sighs. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Sam wanted to kiss him, “Come here.”

 

Leaning forward, his face was caught between the hands. The kiss was slow, full of passion, and he poured everything he felt into it. Spencer moaned into the open mouth feeling the upwards thrust that he had no control over. The knees were raising behind him, his lover getting into a sturdier position. His hands left the chest, to fist the covers near Sam’s shoulders. He braced himself and pushed back feeling the cock starting to slide upwards. 

 

His own movements would have his cock driving into the warmth. Sam lost it at the frantic bucking sending the narrow hips back to meet him. He wasn’t the only one enjoying it. The tension was at the breaking point and he couldn’t hold it off any longer. It felt amazing, “Spence, I can’t. Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

 

“Yes, oh yes, I can feel it.” Spencer tightened around the throbbing cock. The heat exploding in a rush, the orgasm starting seconds after Sam’s. The last thrust finished emptying inside, his own cock going flaccid from his lust being sated. His mess was between them, mostly on Sam’s stomach. “Ouch.”

 

“Sorry,” Sam heard the wince as he pulled out. He chuckled feeling the stickiness that was mushed as Spencer collapsed on top of him. That had been worth waiting for, “Are you okay?”

 

“Good,” Spencer was better than okay. That had been great. He didn’t want to move, just lay where he was. Having strong arms holding him made the temptation had to resist. A kiss was placed on his brow, “You might have to finish dinner.”

 

“I can try but it won’t turn out as good.” Sam chuckled hearing the groan. “Sorry, Babe. I’m still a lousy chef. I can’t promise that anything I cook will be edible.”

 

“Then what can you promise me?” He snuggled into the embrace. Spencer didn’t expect Sam to cook for them. It was something he enjoyed to do, and he wanted to be able to do nice things for his boyfriend.

 

What could he promise Spencer? That was easy, “I can promise that I will spend every day trying to make you happy. I will never hurt you intentionally. And I swear that I will love you until the day I die.”

 

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End Note: I know I made Derek a tiny bit of an ass, OOPS! I hope you enjoyed it, I will take requests if I'm able to do them. Please comment, even if it is to say it was a good read or okay, just say something, takes but a few seconds and it fuels my gay, pink spandex wearing muse. Thanks much!


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